That
is what happened to me today. Just now actually. The morning had risen
overcast, a chill in the air chasing us into the sanctuary of our blankets and
handing us a hot beverage. Perfection. That’s how noon found me. Oversized jumpsuit,
steaming mug of coffee, knee socks, with my eyes peeking out of the monkey cap
that covered the rest of my face. Overkill, definitely. I sat burying myself
into the comfortable couch, trolling the internet for movies to watch. However
my interest lay not in the multimillion dollar budget films or the ones that
were endorsed by actors who could put Aphrodite to shame with their quest for
beauty. I instead was famished for the ones that depicted life in all its
unflattering colours. Being a tragic realist, which simply means I am attracted
to tragedy and realism, which more often than not in my mind are the same
thing, I wanted to watch a movie that my 21 year old self could relate to.
I
found ‘Frances Ha’.
Hidden
in the dusty archives of black and white, I fell in love with the character,
the story, the narrative of Frances Ha. She made all the wrong decisions. Acted
completely insane, clingy, adorable, irritating and lovable, all in the same
breath. Indulged in dysfunctional relationships. Avoided responsibilities by
running away. Literally. To Paris in this case. Not a bad choice, I admit. She
moulded her lies to make her life look pretty on the outside. To show the world
she was in control, while all the time being thrown into a downward spiral. Sound
familiar? It does to me.
Frances
Ha is the most honest depiction of every youngling that lies suspended in the
breath that separates teenage from adulthood. The transformation that goes from
being an irresponsible teen with no consequences for her actions, to the first
steps of adulthood which result in becoming homeless and broke with a couple of
wrong steps. This story is set in that blind spot on the timeline of every
human being, which discovers us battered and bruised from all the trial and
error we have to go through to find our path, as well as the process of
disillusion that one goes through as they break their shell and take the first
sniff of the polluted air. What amused me about Frances was her attempt to
retreat back into her shell, her roots, her school that provided the sheltered
controlled environment, in this case amidst the throes of nature. It provided a
temporary solace from the chaotic uncertainty of the real world. However, as we
grow older we outgrow certain places. Sometimes the places outgrow us, and we
do not fit in the way our earlier selves used to. It’s time to come to terms
with it. It’s time to move on.
The
trait that catapulted me to fall in love with Frances, was the struggles that
she went through in her discovery of herself. The self-doubt, hate, uncertainty
of her place and purpose in this world, feeling left behind as everyone in her
life galloped forward and had life all figured, while the cosmos had her on her
knees. She never gave up. Blinded, she kept making mistakes, until one day her
decisions leaned towards the right directions. She came upon a path that her
eyes could adjust to, the one she could stand on, fist tentatively testing its
gravity, and then with the confidence that it won’t turn upside down in the next
instant. She discovered herself. She fell in love with herself. Slowly.
Cautiously. Utterly. Definitely. And with that acceptance, she moulded her life
into submission of her true self. Pieces fell into place. People too. Life bent
her over backwards, she did not break. She emerged admittedly a little sore,
but undeniably victorious. She may not have soaring accomplishments that
validate a front page in the newspaper, but she did collect a multitude of
experiences, which if denoted a colour could make a canvas come alive.
Movies
like these should be plastered on billboards across the globe. The ones that
teach you that it’s okay to be yourself. Okay to make mistakes. Okay to be lost
in the mess of youth. Okay to take time to find your path. And that it’ll all
be okay in the end one way or another.
At
this point in my life, this day, this moment, this is what I wanted needed
to hear. This is what I needed to rekindle that hope, that magic that had been
buried under all that bullshit that society piles on you all your life as you
grow up. Frances Ha gave me the will to live, to be happy, to smile that much
wider. I am utterly and irrevocably in love with this movie. All the lost souls
of this world, go ahead, gravitate towards it and find solace in it. You have
me for company. Always and forever, a little lost. Goodbye.
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